The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to useful reference make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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