The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and wellness .

But when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex you could try this out is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay men want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your weblink time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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