The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They probably would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen into read this the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urban locations, sex is readily offered, which in itself click this is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Many gay men desire to learn from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, More Info and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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