The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, making love carries tremendous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Many gay men wish to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. he has a good point Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles see it here who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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