The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical imp source intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Singles who like it pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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