The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and why not find out more testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , causing effective sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach site web who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication look here uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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