The Intimacy Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and learn this here now physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given look at more info that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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